Let me preface this by admitting this: I have said a lot of stupid things in my life. I've said more stupid things than I'd like to admit. That doesn't keep me from making fun of other people. I've had two instances in the past month or so that have made me wish I carry a tape recorder with me at all times or that someone else could be around to hear them.
The first - I went to lunch with one of my bosses and one of his real estate agents. We got there and I told the hostess we had reservations for noon. She asked if we wanted to sit inside or outside. Since it's cooling down significantly here in Phoenix, I asked, "are there any free tables outside?", to which she responded "no, you still have to pay."
The second - I went to the grocery store Monday night to pick up some stuff for dinner. I also wanted to check to see if they had any canning jars. I walked up to someone who works there and this is our conversation:
Me: Do you carry canning supplies?
Her: Tanning supplies?
Me: No, canning, with a C
Her: Yeah, we probably have some stuff in the cosmetic aisle
Me: No. Canning. Do you have jars?
Her: No, I think it only comes in tubes
I am reminded of a news program Tim and I were watching over a year ago. I think some paparazzi were lined up waiting for the stars to arrive at the Academy Awards (or some such awards show), and the reporter stopped to talk to one of them. She asked him a question and he responded that he doesn't speak English very well and that he was from Switzerland. She turned to her camera and said "well, I don't speak Swiss, so we'll move on to someone else." Um, yeah. Swiss isn't a language. It's a cheese.